Letters to Food Network

Dear Food Network,

I am a faithful, devoted viewer of many of your shows. I have no formal culinary training, but I feel that all of the many hours I have spent watching your fine network has made me a better cook. I'll start with a little of my food background. You see, I was raised by a wonderful mom, however, she was not a lover of cooking. I recall many random meals. Weinies cut down the middle with cheese in them. Many nights of "breakfast" food for dinner (still one of my favorites). And I'll never forget the day I opened my lunch at school to find a cheese and mayonaise sandwich. I guess we were out of lunch meat that day? There was also a weird "jerky" phase. That's what we called it. Everything my mom cooked for a period of time turned out really tough and jerky. We had beef jerky, chicken jerky, turkey jerky. A nice idea, except it wasn't on purpose. Her internal cooking clock was just a little bit off, I suppose. She also went through this health food co-op phase. We ate peanut butter that was almost black and stuck to the roof of your mouth for days. And we ate blue corn chips before they were cool. 3rd graders just don't understand the importance of eating healthy, so I was labeled "Alien Food Girl." I have recovered from all of this, but it took a while. Now, I love my mom. She is a woman of more talents than most dream of having in six lifetimes, so her lack of cooking is really no big deal. She more than made up for it in many other ways.


So, naturally I feel very lucky to have found Food Network a few years ago. I'll never forget the day I stumbled upon a bubbly brunette cooking up a yum-o pasta dinner in half an hour. I was hooked. Rachel Ray's 30 Minute Meals are right up my alley. I'm not a very patient person, so I can handle 30 minutes. So, I am sending you this letter to share my views and opinions on many of your fine shows and perhaps some valuable constructive criticism. Thanks for reading.

Food Network Challenges- I love these challenges!! My favorites so far have been the cartoon cake challenges. I actually watched a marathon of these one day. Three hours of Disney cakes! First it was the princess cakes, followed by the villains, and then the Pixar movie cakes. And it was all at Disney World. The judging in front of Cinderella's castle was a nice touch. I did feel bad for the guy that made "Scar" from The Lion King. When his head fell off (the cake head, not the baker's) it was just kind of sad. He worked for eight hours on that cake. Tragic. Ok, keep the challenges coming. I like them.

Semi- Homemade with Sandra Lee- I just have one comment about Sandra's "tablescapes." The last episode I saw, Sandra was throwing a Fairy Princess Party and her tablescape totally freaked me out! There were giant porcelain fairy dolls all over the table. They were incredibly creepy looking. I have an eight year old daughter, and she would have run screaming from that table. And one more thing, not everything in each episode has to be the same color. For example, I'll go back to the Fairy Princess Party. It was a world of Pepto Bismol. The food, the drinks, the table cloth, even the curtains in her fake kitchen window....pink! I once saw a beach themed episode and it was all blue. I can't take this monochromatic show anymore. Spice it up. Throw in a coordinating color.

Ace of Cakes- Duff Goldman is fabulous. He and his staff make the greatest cakes. So far my favorite has been Duff's meatball birthday cake. The little gum paste Duff on top with the fork was just pure genius. The bacon roses were my favorite though. It's all about the details! Keep it coming Charm City Cakes.

The Next Food Network Star- Ok this one I'm particularly hooked on right now. It's down to the final three. But all I can seem to think about is, where is last year's winner's show? It is making it hard for me to invest in these finalists, because I am not guaranteed that the winner will in fact become the next Food Network star. The last chick that won still doesn't have a show. There's something fishy going on. Pun intended.

Iron Chef America- I have no idea what any of these people ever make. I'm doing good just to know the mystery ingredient sometimes. And the judges are all so snooty. I still like to watch though. I'm a food junkie, what can I say!!!

Ok, I know it sounds like I do nothing but watch Food Network all day, but I do have some what of a life. Occassionally I actually get in the kitchen and cook myself. I do always watch Food Network in the kitchen though. It makes me feel like my Hamburger Helper is really something fabulous! Keep up the good work Food Network. And remember, a great meal is never more than 30 minutes away!

Sincerely,

Leslie Rich