Letters I will never send...

Dear man leaving McAllister's last Saturday night,

As a mother of three, I am constantly trying to stay on top of my children's well-being. Would you mind letting us get in our car and out of the parking lot before lighting up your cigarette? I'm not trying to be rude. Taylor is allergic to smoke, but my bigger concern was the oxygen tank you were loading into your car as the lit cigarette was dangling out of your mouth. The six other tanks in your truck bed were also a source of concern for me.





Dear American Idol producers,

I was under the impression from the last seven seasons of this show that you were running a singing competition. At least that's what Simon reminds us all of as he mercilessly rips into the contestants he feels can't sing on any particular night. So, you must understand my surprise at the finalists. Now don't get me wrong, there are some of your final contestants who are very vocally gifted, but I was so disappointed with the Wild Card show in particular. I know this was a few weeks ago, but as each new show airs I am just still so shocked at a few of the choices. I am working on my critical spirit, so instead of voicing my frustrations at the the contestants who did make it, I will just say that Ricky Braddie was robbed! That boy can sing and should have been put into the finals! But as Simon put it that night, you had to "cast" the show and that's when I realized that this show just like every other "reality" show on TV is far from realistic and you were simply putting the characters for Season 8 into place. I will continue to watch, but I am disappointed.

Dear Lubbock National Bank,

While I appreciate your efforts to keep fraud and theft at a low level, would you please give me a heads up before you stop the ability to use my debit card? Just because a card is used in another state doesn't mean you should stop it after two transactions. Do you know how embarrassing it is to be told "Your card is declined" at the Alco in Pagosa Springs, CO??? If someone were to steal a debit card, I doubt they would be buying $26 worth of coloring books, snacks and a Wolf Creek tourist T-shirt. And to make things worse, it was St. Patrick's day and two people dressed up like Leprechauns would not stop offering up their opinions on why the card was possibly being rejected! The Alco was my main source of entertainment this week. It's hard to go skiing with 3 kids, so my little outing was quite enjoyable until the whole check-out debacle. A little warning next time might be nice.

Dear Project Runway producers,

Enough of this network bickering already!!! The season has been filmed. The finalists have already shown their collections at fashion week, and still we have no show on the air! Now that Top Chef is over I need my Wednesday night 8:00 pm TiVo slot filled, not to mention I love PR and I am in need of a new season! I don't care if you stay on Bravo or move to Lifetime. Like I said, I TiVo the show so I can fast forward through the cheesy Lifetime movie promotional commercials. Just put the show on the air! In the words of Tim Gunn, "Make it work!"

Dear Facebook,

So many things to say to you. First of all, I really love FB. It is a great way to keep in touch with people. My dad even got a FB this week on vacation. It's pretty funny to watch his excitement as he checks to see who wants to be his friend every few hours from his Blackberry. My dad is so hip. I would like to request that you stop changing the layout of the home page! Every time I just about get it all figured out, there you go changing it up again! I don't care one way or the other, just keep it the same! I am tired of having to figure out where the birthday reminders went and where the friend requests have relocated. People want my birthday greetings and friend approvals! Keep it simple and the same for more than a few months this time!!!

And finally...

Dear makers Boudreaux's Butt Paste,

Your product is fantastic. My girls have been diaper rash free since I discovered you. I only have one simple request. Is there any way you can make a lid for the tube that will not easily screw off? Your tube of paste combined with my curious two year old resulted in a 4 month old baby with an ear full of butt paste. I'm just saying, a better cap is something you might want to think about.