Letters for the last week of pregnancy

Dear Ben at Star Nails,

Thank you for the fabulous pedicure you gave me today. I should probably be thanking Abby who gave me the gift certificate for the pedicure on my birthday in August, but today you were the one with magic hands my friend, so the thanks goes to you. Let me also say thank you for not making me bleed. The last two pedicures I have gotten have come with a fair share of pain and blood. You however drew no blood today. Kudos to you, Ben! And by the way, is that your real name? Ben? I'm just wondering because our favorite chef at O'Hana is named Kevin. Well, I would hear other people talking to him and his name was obviously not Kevin. Perhaps this is just an easier name to pronounce than his given Asian name. You see, Kevin left a few months ago. After a few sub-par O'Hana chefs we have found another fantastic one, and would you believe it, his name is also apparently Kevin! Maybe they just call their best chef at the time Kevin. Ok, I know this has nothing to do with you, Ben. I was just wondering. Anyways, thanks for the great pedi experience. I am loving my "Dutch Tulip" toes!



Give me ten!

Leslie





Dear Texas Tech football team,
Great game Saturday. You nearly put me into labor. I'm not sure if I can watch the Oklahoma State game this week if it's going to be as nail-biting as the Texas showdown. I just can't take the chance that another last minute amazing Harrell to Crabtree pass won't push me over the edge and send me to the hospital early. I'll see what I can do, but I may have to step out if it gets too exciting!

Wreck 'em!
Leslie


Dear registered voters,
Go vote tomorrow. If I can waddle my way to the voting polls, so can you. Maybe without the waddling. VOTE!!!

Leslie


Dear maker of the baby sling I bought yesterday,
I am slightly doubtful that your product will be a success. The problem is that I will not know for sure until the baby arrives. Your sling is not much more than a glorified pillowcase (albeit a very cute pillowcase. Your design was by far the cutest, which is of course why I bought it). Part of me thinks that I could have made this very sling in 8th grade Home Ec. I am going to give it a try, but do you have some kind of guarantee that my baby isn't going to slip out? I guess we'll have to wait and see. I'll let you know how things go after I watch the instructional DVD and try it out on a real baby.


Dear high heels in my closet,
I have not forgotten about you. I see you everyday, and I still know you are there. Hopefully, very soon we will reunite. I am slightly concerned that my foot may have grown a bit more with this pregnancy and some of you may be cleaned out of the closet and I will have to find new homes for you. Please know that this saddens me as much as it does you. We've had some great times in the past, and I am ready for a reunion tour. Thanks for you patience as I have shown extreme partiality to my flats over the past several months.

Missing you,
Leslie


Dear elastic waist jeans,
I wish I could forget about you. You have been there for me the last few months, but I am ready for our relationship to take on a new look. I can't stand the way you fold under my belly anymore. I can't stand the fact that you have to be tugged at and pulled up an average of 56 times a day. It is time for buttons and zippers again. My fear is that this will not happen as quickly as I like, so I will still wear you from time to time. I'm sorry if I don't sound grateful for all that you have done for me lately, but it's time to move on. I'm just not that into you anymore.

Stretched out,
Leslie

and finally....

Dear gray hairs,
Enjoy your last few weeks. You have come on very strong the past two months. Well, your reign of terror and aging are about to be over! When this baby gets here, you are out. I will do whatever I can to look like a 27 year old again. I realize that your texture is totally different than the rest of my hair, but I don't care. As long as I can be a brunette again, I'll take the wiry, crazy little hairs that have taken over my hairline. Just say no to salt and pepper!

Push it!
Leslie