Our Big Announcement!

"It's time to say goodbye, but I think goodbyes are sad and I'd much rather say hello.  Hello to a new adventure."  Ernie Harwell

On December 7, 2004, my sweet man got down on one knee after a crazy night of failed, attempted romantic moments and asked me to marry him.  His precious 4-year old daughter was running around naked and wet (she was supposed to be in the bathtub), laughing and shouting and rejoicing at the addition of a new mom to her little family.  I said yes knowing that my life was not always going to be a romantic fairytale that my husband tried so hard to plan for that night (that's another story for another time), but I knew that I would always be loved and cherished and happy with that man and that adorable, lively little girl.  I knew I was signing on for an adventure and I can say for certain that it has been just that.  An adventure of the best kind.

Fast forward exactly 10 years later, and once again on a December 7th night, Alan and I decided it was time to officially start the next great adventure.  We've always had dreams in our heart.  Big, musical dreams, that we've been trying to carve out and define over the past few years.  That Sunday night we knew in a way that can only be described as divine peace and a gut feeling, that it was time for a change.  We've decided to move to Nashville, Tennessee.  This was not a spur of the moment thing.  We've been thinking and praying about this possible move for almost two years now.  Alan would have gone long ago, but I'm so thankful for his patience with me as I allowed God to reveal it to me in His timing.  And I can truly say that it's been His timing and His timing is always perfect.  

We have spent the last week telling everyone we felt we needed to tell personally (our kids, family, work, friends) knowing full well that as soon as one person knew, word would begin to get out.  So, if you didn't hear it from us, please don't take it personally!  We had a series of already scheduled things this week (Christmas lunch with my co-workers, staff meeting, worship team night, Family Christmas dinner, etc.) that I think was part of God's plan.  It was not easy telling everyone.  There were lots of tears, lots of hugs, and more emotions than I quite knew how to handle.  Everyone has asked, are you excited?  Yes.  Are you scared?  Yes.  Are you sad?  Yes.  And it changes constantly day to day, sometimes minute by minute.  But overriding every one of my emotions is a peace.  An incredible, unexplainable peace that I feel completely covered by.  

I wanted to write this blog to make our big announcement as well as answer the questions that everyone have asked so far.

When are you moving?

We plan to move this summer.  We want our kids to finish out the school year here (we love and will miss Shallowater schools!), but want to have a little time to settle in Nashville before the next school year begins.  However, no definite date has been set.

What are you going to do when you get there?

That's a great question!  We are still ironing out all of those details and don't have a lot of answers yet.  We do know that we want to continue songwriting and recording as well as explore other parts of the music business that are part of the dreams and goals we have.

How are your kids taking it?

They, just like me, have lots of different emotions about it.  One day they're super pumped and the next they are trying to talk us out of moving.  I think that's just part of something huge like this.  If you think about it, please pray for Taylor, Ava, and Molly Kate.  They are my number one priority throughout this entire transition (before, during, and after the move).  Pray they feel the same peace that Alan and I do and that there is no fear going into this.

What about your jobs here?

Lubbock Sight, Sound, and Security is not going anywhere!  Alan has built an incredible company with incredible employees who will continue to provide the same great work and customer care they always have.  Alan will still be very involved in the business, just from afar.

Leaving my job at Church on the Rock was honestly the hardest thing to face next to leaving behind all my family in Lubbock.  COTR is my family.  It's home to me.  I've been given incredible opportunity to learn, grow, and lead there.  I will miss it terribly, and will still try to find ways to stay connected even if it's just through relationship with my church family and worship team.  Over the past few years, I've felt a shift in my calling.  I love leading worship and that's always been there, but there was a greater desire to mentor and train up other worship leaders.  It was this God-driven thing inside me to just pour into others whatever I could.  So that's what I've been trying to do over the past few years, not fully knowing why, but now seeing God's hand in it all.  I believe in the great future that is ahead for Church on the Rock and specifically the worship and media departments that I've had the privilege of leading the last several years.  I am so proud of my team there and I can not wait to see the next level they are headed toward.

So that's it!  That's our big news.  We are taking a giant leap of faith and depending on God at every single turn and I'm thrilled to see where He takes us.  I will miss my family and friends terribly.  And I will miss Lubbock.  But I'm so glad to say that I won't look back on my life in 30 years and wonder what if.  We are going after the "what if" with the thought "why not us?"  

We covet your prayers during this huge life transition!

The Fair: fire ants, greasy hair, nuclear holocaust, and blacking out.

The smell of grease, body odor, livestock, cotton candy, and hand sanitizer is in the air.  This can only mean one thing.  The South Plains Fair is in full swing.  Just a week ago the trucks rolled into town and quickly set up their death traps rides.  The tigers on Prozac and their long-haired, toothless trainers set up camp right next to the LumberJills, ready to entertain the masses from Lubbock and all of its surrounding areas.

The fair brings up so many memories.  I remember that day every year in Elementary school when the teacher handed us that little yellow ticket, good for one free entry on Tuesday or Wednesday afternoon.  I grasped that ticket with such joy and guarded it with my life for fear of losing it and losing my opportunity to experience the vomit-inducing Himalayan Express or the Tilt-a-Whirl.  While most people's fair memories revolve around the rides, I realized today that my top five fair memories have nothing to do with the rides.  I have crossed over to the other side(s) of the fair.  I am not a mere fair patron, I have experienced the world of fair vendor, entertainer, and 4-H participant at various times in my life.  So, without further ado, here are my Top 5 South Plains Fair Memories.

5.  When I was in college, I participated in an ensemble called Thursday Nite Live.  We performed in front of a live studio audience once a month and that lovely show was broadcast on a local cable access station in Levelland, Texas.  If that doesn't impress you, may I also add that reruns of the show were aired on Saturday nights at 11:30pm on LISD-TV, cable channel 12 in Lubbock.  (I'll be signing autographs later).  Our ensemble also played at the fair a few years.  One of those years I was awaiting my grand entrance "backstage" (the stage was sandwiched in between the Merchant's building and the building with all the baked goods and quilts people submitted for judging) when out of no where I was attacked by fire ants.  They were crawling up my leg!  I managed to smack them all off just as they were introducing me and my rendition of Everyday is a Winding Road.  By the time I made it to the microphone, my leg was on fire.  The ants had bit me in several places and through the pain, I choked back the tears and belted out the Sheryl Crow song to the few fans sitting on their hay bale seats.

4.  As a young child, my parents were very worried that my sisters and I were not getting all we could out of life because we were not being raised on a farm.  Both my parents grew up on farms so it was what they knew.  They were navigating the uncharted waters of public, big-city schools without a tractor or pasture full of cattle to balance it out.  So naturally they thought my sister, Paige, and I should show animals through 4-H.  One would think that yuppy, city girls like us should start out small with a pig or a lamb, but not my parents.  They dove right in.  We were going to show 1,500 pound steers.  I was eight after all.  I could handle it.  We visited the farm a few times a week (there are enough stories there to fill up another 10 blog posts) and prepared for the big fair show coming in the fall.  The day arrived and off we went to the fair.  While this was many years ago, my memories of this particular fair show are quite vivid and include a bedazzled denim vest and matching bow that my mom made for this special occasion, that giant steer getting away from me in the ring (shocking, I know), tears (mine, of course), and a green "Participant" ribbon.  We only participated in 4-H that one time.  I guess farm-life isn't for everyone.

3.  My next memory is from another Thursday Nite Live performance at the fair.  Same stage, only this time the Maines Brothers Band was going to be playing after us!  Needless to say the crowds this year were MUCH larger.  This was also the first year I was playing keys in the ensemble.  I was forced  asked to play by my dear mentor and instructor, Cary Banks.  He believed in  me, and I refused to let him down, so I reluctantly agreed.  He sent me home with a "Honky Tonk Piano" instructional VHS and sent me on my way.  I practiced like crazy that semester and it made me a better player for sure, so I'm grateful for that.  I'm still looking for an opportunity to pull out some Honky-Tonk Piano licks in a worship service.  I digress.  This year at the fair we were playing a super hard song called Country Boy that was performed by the incredible Jedd Hughes.  This was our finale song and I had a solo in it that I had practiced for weeks.  I was nervous and having great musicians stare at you while you're playing made me even more nervous.  Well, Cary decided since it was our last song, it would be fun to invite some of his friends (aka professional musicians) up to play with us.  Lloyd Maines (award-winning producer, songwriter, musician, and all around musical genius) grabbed a guitar, cozied up next to my keyboard and said "Can I look on with your chart?"  I nearly lost it right then and there.  I have no recollection of how that solo went.  I don't remember playing the entire song.  I was told afterward that I did good, but I seriously think I just blacked out.  Went into some kind of traumatic coping mechanism.  Ah, fair memories.

2.  I really could add "Fair Entertainer" to my resume.  When I was a young kid, we did an original musical at our church called "FutureWord."  The play was a family-friendly presentation about life after a nuclear holocaust.  The things my parents let me participate in.....  Anyways, I was "Girl #2" in FutureWord.  My costume was basically a torn-up dress with black smudges all over it.  My hair and make-up, however, were quite a different story.  I was the rainbow girl.  The color started on my face and then ran into my hair (that was teased to look like I had been electrocuted).  It was....special.  After our gut-wrenching performance at the fair, I begged my mom to let me go ride a few rides with some friends that were in the cast.  She agreed, and off we went, in full costume and make-up.  We scared everyone, even the carnies.  Now that's saying something.

1.  My number 1 fair memory still haunts me to this day.  I can't hardly tell the story out loud because I laugh so hard at the thought of it.  When I was in 7th grade, our church got a Corn Dog Booth at the fair.  I would volunteer to work a few shifts each year, and we sold corn dogs to the masses (we still do!).  After a few years of professional corn dog experience under my belt, I begged my mom to let me sign up for a night shift.  This is where the serious corn dog people worked.  The lunch rush?  It's for babies.  Afternoon and dinner time?  Please.  The night shift was legit, and I wanted to get in on it.  At first my mom said no, because they didn't close until midnight.  After weeks of begging, she agreed to let me sign up for one night shift.  It was even on a school night!  I worked the shift and it felt good.  I was a real fair vendor now.  I got home around 1:00am, stripped down in the laundry room (you STINK after working in the corn dog stand), stumbled up the stairs and passed out.  The next morning, I slept right through my alarm.  My mom came upstairs 10 minutes before we were supposed to leave and yelled "you're not up???  We are leaving in TEN MINUTES!"  I jumped out of bed, threw on a t-shirt and some jeans, threw my stuff in my backpack, brushed my teeth, ran a brush through my greasy hair, and ran downstairs.  As I was rushing out the door, a note on the refrigerator caught my eye.  I whipped around to read it.  It. Was. Picture. Day.  I totally forgot.  Let's just say I have a bit of a picture day curse.  Several years of my life, crazy things always happened on picture day.  Not this year.  I ran back upstairs, put on a decent outfit, grabbed some makeup and headed back out the door.  I made it to school and while standing in the picture line, someone behind me said, "what is that weird smell?"  In all of my frazzled craziness I didn't even realize that I still smelled like corn dogs!  I had failed to shower.  I was so tired the night before, I went straight to bed.  That morning, I overslept, so no shower then either.  It is not ok to not shower after working in the corn dog stand!  You stink!  Your hair, your skin, it all stinks!  Such a nightmare.  Like middle school isn't hard enough!  Now I was the greasy corn dog girl.  I just pretended I didn't know what they were talking about and kept a safe distance from people the rest of the day.  Next year, I opted for a few afternoon shifts and left the serious corn dog work to those who could handle it.

So, those are my Top 5 Fair Memories.  I have many more memories of the fair and I would love to hear yours!

Family Night!

The week after Easter I decided to take a few days off to rest and recover from the busiest weekend of my year.  Easter is always a lot of work for me, but in the most rewarding way!  So I felt I deserved a few extra days to recuperate and take lots of baths and naps and just rest.  So that’s exactly what I did.  During one of my long, beloved baths I ran across a blog post from Jen Hatmaker that really resonated with me.  So I decided to follow her lead and make some lists for myself and get some renewed focus.  My first list was of all the things that I’ve been neglecting and that need to be done.  Not work stuff, because I’m really trying to leave work at work.  So these were all personal things that I’ve been neglecting.  It felt good to just get those things on paper and out of my head so I could move on and think about other important things and so I could make some realistic plans to get those things taken care of.  My second list was of things that I want to do around my house.  When my house is in order, my mind feels more clear.  I crave a clear mind!  So I now have a long list of house tasks and luckily I have a 12 year old who needs to make money for her mission trip so I foresee those things getting taken care of in the near future, much to my daughter’s dismay.  My third list was of stuff that makes me feel good.  This is my selfish list of “me” things.  This list included simple things like hanging out on my back porch at night with my husband, girls nights with friends, cooking, blogging (it’s been a looooong time since I’ve done this one), and spending time with my family.  So I made a decision to incorporate at least one thing on my “me” list into every day. 

I decided to initiate “Family Night” once a week.  My family is already at that point where some days we are all going in a million different directions.  So I wanted to set aside one night a week to just be with my four most favorite people.  I wanted the kids to look forward to it as well, so I got them involved.  Each of the girls got to pick a different part of the evening.  Well, Taylor was gone when we were deciding so Alan chose dinner (pizza), Molly chose dessert (chocolate ice cream), and Ava chose the activity (family talent show).  Last night was our first family night and it was SO great!  Pizza was a great choice because there was nothing to clean up.  We got a late start because of gymnastics and Alan working out of town, so at 7:30 we sat down for some pizza and chocolate ice cream.  Then came the talent show!  Molly Kate danced and sang “Firework” and was quite entertaining.  Ava followed that with a lovely dance/gymnastics routine.  Taylor did a few “magic” tricks like the disappearing thumb trick.  I asked each person for a different word and made up a song on the fly using the words, and Alan finished up the show with showing off his strength and doing pushups.  We are one talented family! 

My most favorite part of the evening came after we awarded Ava first place in the talent show.  We sat down as a family and prayed together.  Each person shared one thing they wanted prayer for and then each person prayed for someone else’s need.  It was the most amazing thing.  I don’t know that we had ever prayed together like that before.  It brought tears to my eyes to hear my four year old ask for prayer for a better attitude and more obedience.  And then to hear her pray for her sister’s need was incredible.  To hear my 12 year old pray that her dad would hear God more clearly during a new season we are in was just so pure and genuine and really blessed my heart.  It was the greatest hour and a half of my week and I can’t wait until next week.  Looking forward to quiche (Ava’s choice), peach cobbler (Taylor’s choice) and family movie night watching Tangled (Molly’s choice). 

How does your family spend quality time together?

Dance recitals, cloudy days, and babies...oh my!

It's taken a few days, but I think I've finally recovered!  Last weekend, I entered a territory that only really brave mothers dare to go.  It's a world of tutus, red lipstick, oversized hats, and blue eyeshadow.  I'm talking about dance recitals, people.  And this was no ordinary dance recital. I realize that it was my first recital, so how can I say it was not like every other recital?  I just have a knowing deep in my heart, that this particular recital was in a league all it's own.  It started with a dress rehearsal Friday night.  I want to add that Friday was my favorite part of the recital experience.  The getting ready was the most fun!  This was the first time my little girls have ever got to really wear "grown-up" make up (not counting the lipgloss heist involving my 3 year old hijacking my lipgloss from my purse and hiding it in her pajama drawer for 2 weeks while sneaking it out to reapply every 30 minutes).  We curled hair, and glossed lips, and mascaraed lashes for a good hour before it was time to go.  The giddy squeals of delight were the absolute highlight of my weekend.

After a dress rehearsal on Friday, we had a great dinner with my mother-in-law who came in town for the recital.  Then it was off to bed for these little dancers.  Saturday was the crazy day!  We had TWO recitals that day, but the girls did great and had a ball!

Ready backstage!

My sweet cowgirl, Ava.

Me and my dancing girls!

Check out this lipstick!!

Lined up and ready to go!

Aren't we cute??

The recital was followed by a wonderful Sunday of rest and hanging with Grammy (my mother-in-law).  It was a super fun weekend topped off with the call that my sister was in labor!!  My adorable niece, Selah, came and spent the night at our house, so her mama could go have that baby!  Ava gave her lots of tips on being a big sister and we had good time with little Seh-Seh.  I love my nieces so much!  There is nothing better than seeing my girls grow up with their cousins and being their La-La!

My new niece, Haven Joy, arrived early Monday morning and I could hardly wait to get my hands on her!!  

(Yes, I know what you're thinking.  I'm LONG overdue for a new hairstyle.  This was a particularly awful hair day.)

Just a few hours old!  Isn't she precious??

It's been rainy and cloudy for the last few days and I'm loving it!  My hair, not so much, but whatever.  That's why I've decided today is hat day!  Ok, ok, I'm calling the hairdresser right now!  Hope you've had a wonderful week too!

School's Out for Summer!!

What an exciting two weeks it's been as we've wrapped up the end of another school year!  Well, the little girls are done.  Poor Taylor still has two half days of finals.  This year, my littles went to two different schools.  We were at Lakeridge again and also at KDO at our church.  It was the first year for KDO and it was awesome!  We had such a great year at both places.  I'm thankful for good friends and teachers for my kiddos.

Lakeridge Memories:

This was Ava's 5th and last year at Lakeridge.  She started before she was a year old and we have just loved every year that she has had there.  This year, she made wonderful friends and had amazing teachers!

Ava and Lauren, sweet butterflies at the Spring Program

Ms. McMinn- Ava's super fun music teacher!

Ms. Irelan- such a sweet teacher!

Ms. Marshall- the BEST 4 year old preschool teacher!

Me and Ava at the Mother's Day Tea.

Best Friends: Lauren, Ava, and Kennedi

Molly Kate was a Busy Bee this year!  She had such a great class.

Busy Bees Spring Program

Ms. Ellon- Molly's favorite teacher!

Molly and her buddy, Jackson.

KDO Memories:

This was the first year of KDO and what a blessing it has been for ALL of us!  It was so nice to just bring the girls with me to work and know that they were having fun with all their friends and teachers.

Ava with her mutton-bustin' buddies, Hunter and Fisher, before they moved in March.

Ms. Margaret and Ava.  

Seriously, we could not have had a better teacher than Ms. Margaret.  She was the perfect teacher for right before kindergarten.  She taught Ava to read!  And I'm not talking "Wig on a Pig."  This girl is reading her Bible stories and gets all the words right.  I am so thankful for Ms. Margaret, she is truly a blessing!  This picture was taken at Ava's Lakeridge program.  Ava invited Ms. Margaret and she came!  What a sweet lady!!

Molly Kate the Mouse and Jack the Jar!

I'm kind of disappointed in myself that I did not get more pictures of KDO end of year stuff or any of Molly Kate with her sweet teachers, Ms. Amanda and Ms. Catrina!  

Taylor is finishing up her 6th grade year.  This was her first year at Shallowater Middle School and we have LOVED it!

Not a great pic, but this was Taylor's choir concert.

Taylor tried out for cheerleader and I could not have been more proud of her!!  She didn't make it, but she did such an awesome job!  She learned a chant, a cheer, and a dance in just a few days.  She totally rocked it!

Well, now we are ready for summer!

I'm (blank) because....

I'm Blank Because...

I decided it has been way too long since I last wrote on this here blog, so I decided to get back in the swing of things with this here post.  I was inspired by Little Miss Momma who wrote a similar blog, and since I love sharing interesting facts about myself, I thought I'd give it a go.  Maybe you'll learn something new about me!  Remember, this is a "No Judging" zone!

I'm weird because....

• I have OCD tendencies, like counting all the lines in the numbers on a digital clock, but desperately wanting them to add up to an even 10.
• I know more useless information than you can imagine. Things just stick in my head.
• I've learned how to cook solely from watching Food Network.
• I go through hobby phases. Cooking, refinishing furniture, crafting, scrapbooking, cooking again, writing, collecting random things. I just jump from one to the next and don't really stick with a hobby for long. But while I'm into it, I dive in: 100%.
• I've had some really random collections over the years: keychains, bouncy balls, a CD collection of obscure artists (all alphabetized, of course), shoes, cookbooks, stationary, picture frames, nail polish, kitchen utensils...the list goes on and on.
• I do NOT like to cuddle while sleeping.
• At lunch, I like to get drive thru and go sit at a park by myself and eat.
• I kiss my hand and touch the ceiling of my car every time I drive through a yellow light and lift my feet anytime I drive over train tracks.
• That Thing You Do is my favorite movie and I can quote the entire thing. I still cry every time they hear their song on the radio for the first time.
• As I kid I watched musicals more than cartoons. My favorites were Grease, Sound of Music, and Mary Poppins. This might explain my love for That Thing You Do.
• I have a very real fear of clowns. They completely creep me out.
• When I cook, I will only use certain knives and utensils for certain things. For example, I will only use one certain spoon for stirring spaghetti sauce, even though I have at least a dozen that would do the job.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
   I'm sad because....

• I'm horrible at taking pictures. I'm afraid someday I'm going to look back and regret not capturing more memories.
• Sometimes I feel like I need to be or act a certain way because it's what's expected of me. And I'm not quite sure it's really who I am.
• I don't go visit my grandmother as often as I should.
• Sometimes I yell at my kids and feel really bad about it.
• I too often get consumed with guilt over things like not visiting my grandmother enough or yelling at my kids.

I'm happy because....

• I have three beautiful, happy, healthy daughters.

• I get to do a job I love.
• I live close to all of my family.
• My husband embraces all my quirkiness and loves me for it.
• I met Sara Bareilles and she was totally cool and didn't treat me like an annoying, over-excited fan, even though I was an over-excited fan who tried not to be annoying!

I'm a bad friend because....

• I tend to talk too much about myself when I need to listen more.
• I don't usually open up and really let people in. I'm fine with keeping things on the surface with most people.
• I prefer to be by myself than with other people.
• I've been known to lay on a really thick guilt trip a time or two in my life.

I'm a good friend because....

• I like to give gifts for pretty much any occasion.
• I really like to laugh and be silly with my friends.
• I can keep a secret.
• I will pray for you, cry with you, laugh with you, get mad with you, and make you dinner if that's what you need.

I'm excited for....

• Some changes at work that will make my life easier.
• Summer time and spending fun time with my girls.
• A trip to the beach with my family.
• Grilling out! Yes, I am the Grill Master in my house.
• Date night with my hot husband.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

The Waiting Game

Death. It's such a strange thing to think so much about. But the past 3 days, it has occupied most of my thoughts both day and night. My dear Pepa is lying in a hospital bed on the 4th floor of the Carillon house. It's where people go to die. The minutes and hours continue to creep by and he continues to breathe and moan and slip in and out of sleep. I've never experienced anything like this before. The last time I lost someone this close to me, I was 12 years old. I remember being called out of my 7th grade math class and finding my dad waiting for me in the office. Mama Jo was dead. It happened so suddenly. The words felt like someone punched me in the gut and my eyes were stinging and I was searching for air. This came out of nowhere. No warning. Just death. But this is so different. We are all waiting for him to breathe his last breath. We know it's coming and his deteriorating body is somehow getting worse and showing signs of the "final stages." And we all just wait. The feelings are the same. My gut still feels pummeled, my eyes are still stinging. But it didn't come with one sharp blow. It's a slow, constant beating that has me reaching for air at every turn but finding no relief. Or maybe it's me that's holding my breath. I'm just waiting for the call or the text message. Surely I will get a call. Can you imagine hearing the AT&T default ding and reading those words across a phone screen? Like it's just another Facebook update or RSVP to Ava's birthday party. But maybe the death will bring about a release. Maybe the knot in my stomach from waiting will slowly go away. I don't know why he's still here. I don't know if he's hurting or scared or just ready to be gone. But God knows. And I have to trust that He's here in the midst of this waiting. He's doing a work or He's teaching a lesson or He's testing our faith. I don't know the why yet, but it feels so good to know that I don't have to know all the answers. I just have to try and find the breaths when they come. And I just have to keep waiting...until he's gone. And then I can start missing him. I can cry a different set of tears. Tears of loss and grief. There will be a few tears of joy for his heavenly homecoming. And I will try to be strong and help my kids understand and I will fail, and I will cry and that will be ok. And I will remember all the things I loved about him. And I will be thankful for the last few years he's gotten to spend making memories with my kids. Memories of peppermints and "rides" in the hospital bed. Of singing and dancing and laughing. Of quiet moments shared gazing out the window. I will have my own personal memories of his motorcycle, walking calves, calling him Ralph and him calling me Sydney. So many memories of life and joy. And those are the things that will make the death bearable.

30 is the new ???

Well, 30 is the new age for me! Yesterday was my birthday, and it turned out to be a pretty good day. I've been a bit panicked about this one for quite some time, but as the big day got closer, I realized that it wasn't so bad. And when I crawled into bed last night, I realized I survived! It was a great day and although I just entered a new decade, I really didn't feel that much different. I am very much a list maker. Always have been. My sister, Paige, wrote the most beautifully amazing blog about me yesterday and it was a list of 30 things about me. As I read the things, I wasn't sure they were all true, but it made me realize how much I wanted them to all be, or at least feel like they were real to me. I've been thinking and I've decided I need a new list for this year, or really decade. 30 things I want to accomplish in my 30's. I'm still praying about what all should be on the list, but I'll go ahead and start. I'm sure some of them will seem silly to others or not make any sense, but the list is really for me. So here goes!

1. I want to continue to raise three beautiful daughters to know and love the Lord.

2. I want to be a better wife to my husband every single day. As I continue to learn things about him and as we continue to grow closer, I want to love him better and support him in every way that he needs.

3. I want to have really great friendships. This is something I don't think I've ever done all that well, but I want to intentionally work on it. I want to invest in people that are fun, like-minded, and at the same time challenge me to grow spiritually and in other ways. Life is too short to go through it alone. I want to purposefully choose people to be in my life that will make me a better person.

4. I don't want to yell anymore. I can't believe I'm admitting this in blogland, but it's true. I can be a yeller. It is the one thing about myself that I dislike the very least. I have a short fuse sometimes and before I know it I'm barking for no reason. I'm immediately remorseful and embarrassed. Raising kids comes with it's fair share of irritations, however, that is no excuse for me to yell. No more yelling!!

5. I want to read more. A few weeks ago, I decided for some odd reason to read Pride and Prejudice. I have never been a reader. I could spend hours vegged out in front of the TV, but lately, it just doesn't interest me. I downloaded the book on my phone and read it cover to cover. I was quite proud of myself for finishing the 418 pages! And now I want to read more! Any good suggestions??

6. In the words of Mary J. Blige, I want "No More Drama." I am finding myself at a place in life where I often ask myself, "what's the point?" What is the point in being mad all the time? Where is the fun in picking out flaws in other people? What is the purpose of keeping things stirred up in my mind and emotions to the point of feeling like I'm about to reach my boiling point all the time? The answer is simple. There is NO point! It is useless, wasted time spent worrying about things that are usually out of my control. And I have found that control is usually the culprit. Feeling out of control and grasping for it can cause this constant stirring of drama, that I just have no desire to be a part of. So, I am committed to living a life full of love, forgiveness, and believing the best of people. Isn't is amazing how God gives us the grace we need to walk out what He's called us to do? Isn't it even more amazing that He doesn't give us the grace to do other people's jobs and to live other people's lives?

7. I want to be healthy. Ahh, here it is. The constant battle for me. Weight. Food. Health. Self-esteem. These things all get rolled into one big ball bouncing up and down. Right now I am teetering on the "up" side of weight and food, and the "down" side of health and self-esteem. If I've learned anything about my natural self in the last decade, it is that I am NOT a naturally thin person. Over the past few years I have worked my tail off on two different occasions and lost a good amount of weight. As soon as I felt I had reached some goal or level of health, I started "rewarding" myself with all the yummy food that I so enjoy. It doesn't help that I love to cook. It is relaxing for me. It is a creative outlet for me, and I love it! However, before I know it, all the hard work is over and I start putting all the weight back on again. What the heck?? I saw a hilarious quote on Pinterest yesterday that spoke loud and clear to me. It said "Don't reward yourself with food. You're not a dog!" So true!! But if I jump through the hoops and lose enough weight I stick my little hand in my pocket and pull out a treat (or 5). This has to stop. In the past I have done really well with losing weight when accountability is involved, so I'm praying for God to show me who to be accountable to. I can do this!!

8. I want to take more vacations with my family. Vacations are some of my fondest memories growing up and I want my kids to have those. There is something about getting away from "normal" life and just having fun! My dream vacation is to go to Disney World with my family, my sisters and their families, and my parents. Can't you just see all those girls at Cinderella's Castle?? Photo-op for sure!!! I also want to go on more trips with my husband. There is no better way to reconnect than a few days away from work and the kids (even though I love them dearly!) preferably relaxing on a beach or some other beautiful location (I'll take mountains too. I'm not picky).

9. I want to do a better job of "multiplying" myself at work. Work for me is being the worship pastor at Church on the Rock. As much as I love actually leading worship in a service, I really get a bigger kick out of seeing other people raised up and released to do it. It truly gives me the proudest feeling! Is that wrong? I just get excited to see other people fulfill their calling and their destiny in the Kingdom. I feel like so much of what I'm "called" to do is changing to more of a mentoring role than an out front leader role. I still enjoy doing both and am blessed enough to have the opportunity to do both. I get to work with some of the most amazingly talented, anointed, humble, powerful worship leaders. It's really a fun job!

10. I want to write more. Paige wrote about it yesterday on her blog, and it got me thinking. I do love to write. I write songs, stories, thoughts, ideas. Whatever pops into my head. However, I don't make the time to do it as much as I would like. At one time I thought about writing a book, although I'm not sure anyone would read it! But it would be so fun to write!

Ok, I think that's enough for now. I've 20 more things to decide on and 39 years and 363 more days to do it. I think I'm good.

A dream becoming reality

For so many years I have been asked, "when are you ever going to make a CD?" Similar comments for years and years: "I'll buy the first one" "Are you writing any new songs?" "Are you recording anything?" "You should really do something with that music." These were all things that I often told or asked of myself, but isn't God's timing always perfect? I remember about six years ago. I was done with college, not yet married, I had no idea what my life was going to look like, but there was music. Music had been there for so long. Honestly, at that point I thought I would be further along in my musical journey, but I didn't know where that would be. I just remember thinking, "as long as I make at least one CD before I'm 30." So, here I am, 29 years and three weeks old, preparing to record a worship CD tonight. It truly is a dream come true. But what I love the most about it, is that it's not just me. This is not my CD. It's a project I'm honored to be a part of and honored to lead with my husband. It is so special to me because it is simply our attempt to capture the sounds of worship that we get to be a part of every single week. It is us, our friends, our team, our church, our family. We have labored, sacrificed, given, and cried to see this thing come into existence. And now it's here. In just 4 short hours, we will hit the record button and my prayer is that we capture the heart of worship that our church family has. I hope to somehow convey through this CD our love for God. These songs are our prayers, our hopes, our desires, our love for Him. So today, my dream is coming true. I feel so expectant. The only thing I can compare it to is the day before I went in to have my babies. That feeling of knowing that your life is about to change in some huge way, and you have no idea what that actually looks like. I like this feeling. I'm a little anxious, but mostly just excited. Excited to continue this journey with my amazing husband, and with my friends who I get to lead worship with.

Let me just encourage you today, to search deep inside and remember those dreams that may be collecting dust somewhere in there. Life is always going to be busy. You are never going to get any younger. You will never have all your ducks in a perfect row. Sometimes, you just have to step out and go for it, right where you are. No matter what season of life. I'm so glad I stepped out in faith and said "yes!" to what God was asking me to do. It's such a rewarding thing. Far greater than anything that I could have imagined, because it's not just my dream, it was His first. It's what He put inside of me to do, and so He's equipped me to do it. I know He can do the same for you.

Thanks for letting me share. I don't ever want to forget how great it feels to be doing what I'm supposed to be doing. So maybe this blog can serve as a reminder for in the future when I've been sitting for far too long on something that God has asked me to do!

A few of my favorite things...

When I was little The Sound of Music was probably my favorite movie. No, I take that back. It was Grease, but SOM was a close 2nd. I had a thing for musicals. I wanted to grow up and be Leisel someday in a play. Came close to that once, but it fell through. Ahhh, the dream that got away....

Anyways, in Sound of Music there is a song called Favorite Things. When I was around 14 I learned to play it for a piano recital. I HATE reading music (bad thing for a musician) so it was a humongous challenge for me, but I did it. I've had that song running through my head for some reason today, so this blog post will be about...you guessed it! My favorite things! (well, favorite things of this week)

#1- Seeing a friend fulfill a long time dream! My friend, Ruth Menefee and her precious family are in Colombia to meet and pick up their new beautiful daughter, Abi! I don't honestly know Ruth all that well, but she is one of those warm people who make you feel so great. You talk to her and you feel like you've known her forever. She is so open and friendly and in the most amazing, genuine way. The story of Abi coming to their family is incredible. You should follow Ruth's blog and read their story for yourself! You will be inspired by this mama's relentless courage and commitment to the dream God put in her heart!

#2- A much needed girls night! On Thursday, I went to dinner with two dear friends. These girls have been in my life for about 15 years, and I thank God for them! We laughed, we cried (only because we were laughing so hard), we ate some super yummy food, and we just had the best time. Thanks to my wonderful husband for keeping the girls and giving me a night off!

#3- Watching my girls play with their cousins. We are blessed so much wonderful family so close by. On Wednesday, we went over to my sister's house to let the girls play in the kiddie pools. It's so fun to watch them play together. I loved hearing their little giggles and shrieks as they splashed each other and waded in the pool. What a blessing to know that my girls not only have awesome cousins, but life-long friends!

#4- Reading my cousin Stacie's blog. This girl is seriously one of the most creative people I know! Her talent has always amazed me, even when she was really young. Now to see her as a wife, mother and artist...I love it! She is beyond talented, and you should check out her stuff here!

#5- Spending a fun afternoon with my grandmother- Mema had knee replacement surgery last week and she is spending some time in a rehab hospital. I took the girls up for a visit. Surprisingly we did not get kicked out, despite the loud screaming from time to time. It makes me so happy to see my grandmother's face light up as soon as the girls walk in the room. Ava did some ballet dancing for her, and Mema showed the girls her scar from the surgery. We all laughed and talked about what we wanted to be when we grow up over chocolate milk shakes (Mema wants to be a Mema, Ava wants to be a princess, a mom, and a musketeer. Taylor is undecided, but probably a nurse, and I want to be a chef when I grow up!) I love these special visits and it's always hard to leave because I know how much joy and therapy it brings my Mema when we come.

#6- Leading worship with my husband and an amazing team! We are working on a CD project and it is going pretty good. It is so much work and from time to time I get a little overwhelmed at the thought of all that still needs to be done, but then we have services like this weekend and I am just so excited and honored to be a part of such a great thing! I love that my husband is stepping out (although it is VERY hard for him) and singing and sharing the songs that God has given him. He inspires me everyday! I am one blessed woman!

I am looking forward to a great week and more favorite things! What are some of your favorite things this week?

Rainy Day

I love the rain! It's quiet in the house, the kids are napping, I'm totally loving this afternoon.

I am planning a fabulous menu for Taco Night with Alan's family tomorrow. Got a call this morning from my mother-in-law letting me know she was on her way into town, like literally on her way. 30 minutes away. She lives in Dallas. So, in order to avoid the circus that is Alan's entire family trying to go out to eat, I have decided to invite everyone over here! It's more relaxed, the kids can play, and I don't have to tell the kids 12,000 times to sit down, keep your hands to yourself, eat your own food, quit coloring on your cousin's napkin, quit coloring on your cousin's clothes, quit coloring on your cousin's arm, quit shooting spit wads through your straws, eat your food, sit down, quit running around the table, don't blow bubbles in your drink...I think you get the idea. There's something about being at a table of 12 that the "energy" level just goes through the roof. I don't know if it's that they think they have a captive audience, so it's time to start getting major attention, or what. So, like I said, to avoid this, I am planning Taco Night! We will have fish tacos, steak tacos, and chicken tacos along with lots of yummy sides and toppings. I am feeling my love for cooking start to rekindle and I like it! Last night I made spaghetti with meatballs. I had never made meatballs before! It was fun and they were super yummy. I also ran across a cookbook that I got for Christmas that I had totally forgotten about. There are tons of recipes that I am dying to try from there! I like them because they all sound simple, not too time consuming, but really delicious. My kind of cooking!

I'm looking forward to the 4th of July. I would usually try to plan out every moment of the weekend, but this year I'm feeling more relaxed about it all. I think we'll just go with the flow. That's probably a good thing with this rain, because all the things I would have normally planned would probably not have worked out and then I would just be frustrated. What a waste of time to worry about things like that! I'm excited about hanging out with my family and just enjoying the holiday. My two oldest girls are singing with a little kids choir for the July 4th service at church on Sunday. I'm so anxious to see them perform! I know they will do a great job!

Well, I know this is nothing very exciting, but I thought I would post a little update since it's way too long since my last one. There's something about a rainy day that just makes me want to sit down and write. I think I'll go work on writing a song now. Enjoy your holiday!!

28 and counting...

I have been on a mission since the first of the year. I stepped on the scale January 1st was slightly horrified at the number that came up. Honestly, I didn't believe it at first, but after weighing several more times and seeing the same number, I accepted it and decided it was time to take action! Thankfully, an amazing opportunity fell in my lap! A group called Weigh-N-Pray was starting up. It was a group of ladies committed to a weekly weigh-in, some prayer and accountability. It was just the thing I needed! Weigh-N-Pray ended yesterday and I lost 24.4 pounds!! Since the first of the year, I am down 28!! I have a few more to go, but I feel great, and I'm really excited about keeping it off! Now I have some shopping to do! All of my clothes are too big and my pants are falling off!

Oh My!

I can't believe it's been over a month since I last blogged. Just so much going on these days. Honestly, I wish I wasn't so busy. I'm back to trying to figure out how to balance everything in life again. I think this is something that will continually be a part of my life. Maybe not constantly, but I foresee different seasons of it for sure. So, I'm on a journey of simplification. Trying to get things done without being too over zealous and piling too many things on my plate. I have not been doing a great job lately of the balancing and it caused a lot of stress which is I think why I've been sick for a week now! Don't really want to focus on the stressful things, so here are the things I've been working on lately that have brought a lot of joy!

Since the beginning of the year, I've been in a group called Weigh-N-Pray. It's 20 ladies on a journey of weight loss and accountability and encouragement. It has not been easy, but I have really enjoyed it. I've tried to lose weight many other times in my life, but for some reason, something really stuck this time. I truly sense a change not only in my weight, but in my thoughts about weight. My mindset is totally different. My eating habits have totally changed and my thought processes about food and my relationship with food have changed. It's a good feeling and the result is a loss of 23 pounds so far!

I am also super excited about my 5 year wedding anniversary! It's coming up on April 9th and Alan and I are going on a trip to celebrate! We will go the first week of May to Mexico for a week of relaxing and reconnecting. I'm ready for some time with my man and some time away to (hopefully) turn my brain off and relax!

Well, that's about it for me! Maybe I'll find to update again without a whole month going by!

Here I Am: 2-12-10

Where I am: February 12, 2010

What I'm listening to: The sound of buttons on the jeans clanging around in the dryer in an otherwise very quiet house. And my dog chewing on some plastic toy she found in the girls toy basket.

What I'm thinking about: What a blessing it is that my little girls are still sleeping! Ava got up about 4 times last night (that's pretty average for her) and now she's sleeping in. I'm glad Molly Kate is still sleeping because last night she started running fever (again) and obviously did not feel good until it started coming down at about 10:00 pm. I'm glad she is getting some rest and her body is working on healing itself.

What I'm grateful for: Time to relax on this Friday! Now that I've gone back to work, my weeks are very hectic. Mondays and Fridays are my down time. I put in a lot of hours on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday and my only breaks are the brief 30 minutes when I'm running to pick up kids and take them to the house before I have to be back at work, or when I'm running home, grabbing the kids and the babysitter, picking up dinner, dropping the babysitter off at home, and heading back to work. Did I mention this all happens in less than 30 minutes?? Those 3 days are pretty hectic, so I really enjoy a day like today when I can rest a bit. Weekends are equally busy since we have a Saturday night service and 2 Sunday morning services. Even though today is already filling up with several loads of laundry, a much needed trip to Sam's, and an unexpected but now necessary trip to the Doctor's office, it's still going to be a good day.

What I'm looking forward to: This weekend! My mother in law is coming to town (yes, I am excited about this). As far as Mother's in law go, she is pretty great. When she comes to visit, she just wants to spend lots of time with the grandkids so Alan and I always get to have some time to ourselves. We desperately need some time. We've gotten so busy since going back to work. I thought we were having a date night next weekend (we are in a babysitting co-op and trade off once a month going out/keeping kids) and have looked forward to it for a long time. It's one of those things that in the midst of the craziness and when I feel like I haven't had a real conversation with my husband in a long time, I can look at the calendar and say, "Ok, in 2 weeks we are having a date night!" and that kinda keeps me sane for a bit longer. So yesterday I found out the date night was cancelled and was bummed. Then my mother in law called and said she wanted to keep the kids on Sunday so we could go out for Valentines! Such a great treat!

I am also looking forward to this weekend at church. God put an idea in our hearts before we went back to work. I love creativity and incorporating it in our worship services. I love when we put on big conferences, not just for the bigger "show" but because I think that people are reached in lots of different ways. For some, the music speaks to them, but for others they may be more ministered to through a video or a dance. So, I wanted to start stepping it up a little in our worship times. Once a month we will have a BIG weekend (I don't know what else to call it). This weekend is all about love. So everything will be a little more "creative" and I'm really excited about it. We are also doing a new song that my husband wrote!!! He won't sing it, even though he did on the recording, but I understand his reasons why. It is such an amazing and worshipful song. I am excited to share it this weekend!!!

My current challenge: I have written a play/skit (not really sure what to call it). Basically it is a bunch of monologues inspired by real stories and people that I know. I shared it with my dad and he liked them. He said he wants us to do it for Easter. Every year at Easter we have one big service at the Civic Center. It is always a lot of work, but so rewarding because I know a lot of people are touched by the message that Easter is all about. So I am feeling very honored, nervous and challenged to put together a really great service for Easter. I feel peace about it though, because all of it has been very "God inspired." When I wrote the monologues I was very much in His presence and felt a creativity beyond myself.

I know this is getting long, so I'll wrap it up. Ava is now awake and wants breakfast, so to all my blog friends, have a blessed day!

Snow Day!!

We are enjoying a fabulous snow day at the Rich house. We've worked in the studio a little bit, watched some cartoons, ate breakfast together (that RARELY happens!), and now I'm enjoying a little quiet time while the kids nap! I thought I would give a little update on what I've been up to lately:

Upcoming events I'm excited about: This weekend I was supposed to be leading worship and speaking at a Ladies Advance at Generations Church in Lubbock. Due to the weather, it has been postponed to the end of February. I am so excited to get to do things like this! It's fun to meet other ladies that love the Lord and love His presence. Next weekend, I get to go on a ladies retreat with City View to Ruidoso!! Again, fun time with other ladies and I get to lead worship for them. Something about these opportunities made me realize that I am an actual adult. I know that may sound funny, but for some reason, I still think of myself at times as a teenager or college aged kid. I start to prepare for things like this retreat and I think about what I'm going to share. Hi, I'm Leslie Rich. I'm married to a wonderful guy named Alan and we have 3 beautiful daughters. I am a grown up!! I am an old married lady with kids! Oh well, I love this stage of my life!

What I've been enjoying most lately: Speaking of college aged kids, I've been teaching a life lessons class each week for the LIFT students at church. LIFT is a 9 month discipleship program, similar to a Master's Commission. Honestly, my first thought was "yay! I get to teach!" I really enjoy teaching, I think because it makes me sit down and actually study and prepare something. I'm kind of a deadline girl. I need to know what I'm working toward and when it's due, or else sometimes things just don't get done. So, every Thursday from 9:30-11:00 I get to hang out with some awesome young people and just share some of my life experience. Again, this makes me feel old, but I'm glad that I have things to share. I tell them that they can learn one of two ways: from their own mistakes, or from someone elses. I am offering stories of my own mistakes to hopefully help them out in some way. I love that hour and a half of my week. Not just because I get to teach though, I have gotten so much more out of it than that. I always walk away from it inspired and encouraged, not from my own teaching, but just from seeing where these young people are at, and what God is doing in them during this intense time of commitment they are in.

Job update: So, here's a little update on the job! It has been more of an adjustment for me than I thought it would be going back to work. I am working more now than I did before, so maybe that's what it is. I truly love my job and what I get to do. I even love more that I get to do it alongside my husband. He is so strong in the areas that I am so weak in! And he pushes me to be a better leader all the time. He has been the one to really stretch me and make me get out of my comfort zone on some things, but the result of that is so rewarding! Now that we've been at it for about a month, I finally feel like I'm starting to catch up a little bit, and I feel like we're able to start making some changes and trying some new things that we've been waiting on for a while. I'm glad some of the stuff that had to be done in the beginning is over because it's taken a lot of time away from being creative. The greatest thing about not working (except for being with my kids) was the extra time that I had to be creative! I had so much time to work on projects and music and it was such a wonderful feeling. I really think though that now that we're finding more of a groove at work, we are going to find more time for those things again. It certainly helps that we have the most amazing assistant ever! Hannah Haning is so awesome! I can just give her all of my unorganized, crazy lists and ideas and she makes them all come out so nice and neat and organized! She is the biggest blessing to Alan and I up at work.

Weigh-n-Pray update: I think blogged about this before, but I've joined a group of ladies called Weigh-n-pray. It's kind of this weight loss challenge, prayer/support group, with a $2000 prize waiting for the biggest loser! The money was huge incentive for me (even though I don't think I'm going to win!) and it helps to have other ladies on the same journey with me. I've lost a total of 4.5 pounds so far! And it's only been two weeks! We weigh in every Sunday, so I'm hoping I'll have more loss to report in a few days! I need to be a bit more motivated in the work out department. I really want a treadmill. I finally told Alan the other day that I had this unrealistic fantasy in my head that I would come home one day and there would be a treadmill all set up for me. I had dropped the hint at wanting one for so long and I realized he was going to do nothing about it, so I finally just came right out and told him! This is what I want you to do: go buy a treadmill, set it up, and surprise me! Still hasn't happened....not sure it will! Oh well, maybe some day!

Well, I think I'm gonna go make some grilled cheese sandwiches and soup for lunch. Enjoy your snow day!

New...

I love starting a new year. It's like you get a fresh start, or a do-over if you need one. 2010 is definitely full of newness for the Rich family. So here are some of the new things we have going on.

First off, Alan and I started a new job! We are the worship pastors at Church on the Rock. I know many of you are reading this thinking, "isn't that your old job?" Not at all!! At least that's how we are approaching this job. Before I worked part time as the worship leader at COTR. Now, I'm not into titles, but I really feel like God wants me to take the new part about being a pastor very seriously. Being a worship pastor is so much more than just leading a song service. I really have a desire to pastor the people I am priveleged to get to have on our team. Over the last seven months, God has been teaching us so many principles on leadership and working with people. Now we know why! We are honored to get to pastor alongside some other incredible pastors at our church and even more honored to get to pastor some incredible people! This whole experience is keeping me very humble and in constant, desparate need for Jesus. It's a great place to be! We have so many exciting plans and ideas for the ministry and I can't wait to see the year unfold and to see all that God has in store.

Along with this new job, comes new pressure to figure out balance. Balance is a HUGE thing for me! When I was working before, I definitely allowed my family to suffer in the time department. We are so determined to not let that happen this time around. My kiddos will only be yound once, so I am going to enjoy it! And we are enjoying it!! We have three amazing girls and I am honored to be their mommy. Can't wait to see what God has for each of them this year!

2010 will usher in the arrival of a new me!!! I have struggled with my weight for the last 10+ years. For me, the battle is mostly mental, but I am ready to turn that all around. I can no longer use the "I just had a baby" excuse, since my baby is 14 months old! My good friend, Missy, challenged ladies who wanted to lose some weight and do it together through accountability, encouragement, and prayer. Initially my response was yes!!! I need all the help I can get!! And to top it off, the grand prize for the "biggest loser" is $2000!!! Um, that's pretty good motivation. I waivered a little bit in making the decision, because I was worried about the time it might take away from our already precious family time. But I wanted to lose weight, and did not want to attempt to do that (again) all by myself. So, I told Missy on Thursday that I wanted to do it. I barely made it in under the deadline. I weighed in that day and the journey began! I only had 3 days until the next weigh in since I joined late, but I was determined to do something. The "me" from the past would have said, "oh, I'll just wait and get started next week," all the while stuffing my face all weekend long, but I decided that "me" needed to go!! I started working out here at home, and counting my calories every day. Yesterday, was my first official group weigh in and......(drum roll, please)....I lost 3.2 pounds!! In 3 days!!! Can you tell I'm pumped? I really feel confident this time. And if I don't win the money, that's ok. It's a fantastic motivator, but just knowing that I have 19 other women going on this journey with me makes it so much easier and so much more fun! I also have an anniversary trip in April to motivate me. The thought of being on a beach in a bathing suit got my rear in gear, real quick!!! So, I may post updates from time to time. I WON'T be posting actual weight :) just weight loss!

Finally, we are thinking about moving to a new house! With interest rates like they are we were going to refinance our house. The more we talked we realized if we do refinance, we will be in this house for at least five more years. AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!! I already feel like we are busting at the seams here, and as my kids get older it's only going to get worse. I like my house and I am very grateful for what we have, but we figured for the same payment we are making now we can easily get into a 4 bedroom house and a much nicer, newer home that is not always a project in the works (like our current house). With the kids at the ages they are at, I don't have time for anymore projects!! So, we are in decision mode and excited about the possibility of another new change!

In the midst of all the change and newness, I am glad that one thing remains constant. I serve a God who can not be moved, He can not be shaken. His mercies are NEW every morning and I choose to put all of my hope and trust in Him alone. Now, that's a good feeling!

Top Ten of 2009

On this last day of 2009, I am remembering some of this year's best moments. Here is my Top 10 (or the best that I can remember!) in no particular order.

10. I wasn't pregnant this year!!! Don't get me wrong. I enjoyed being pregnant in the past, but I was glad to have this year to enjoy the kids I already have and no more growing inside of me.
9. Both of my sisters are pregnant this year!!! See, now I wouldn't want to be pregnant and steal their thunder!
8. Molly Kate turned 1. Where did that first year go? MK is the sweetest, most gentle spirited, precious little thing. You can not help but fall in love with her the moment you meet her. Amazing child. Thank you God for an easy one!!!
7. I have drawn so much closer to God this year than ever before, and because of that I have a clearer sense of my purpose and destiny than ever before. I love knowing that I'm right where I'm supposed to be and that's right in the middle of his perfect will for my life. It makes me want to draw even closer so I don't get off track! I feel more comfortable in my own skin than I think I ever have. It just feels so good to know you are doing the right things even if it sometimes feels like the hardest things you've ever done.
6. Found even more peace and grace to handle the trials and sometimes ugly circumstances that come with being a step mom. This year I wished to be able to adopt Taylor and that didn't happen. I'm not sure that it ever will, but God has carried me through every disappointment, every up, every down, and everywhere else in between and I made it! I'm still making it. God, I thank you for my precious oldest daughter, Taylor. Thank you for knitting our hearts together in a bond unlike any other in my life.
5. I am writing songs again! And some of them aren't half bad!! I have found a new love for music. It no longer feels like work to me. I don't have an internal struggle every time I sit down at the keyboard anymore. I just love listening to God and tapping into whatever He is speaking to me at the time and I love trying to express it in a song. I love being able to share my thoughts and feelings about life and where I'm at through the lyrics and the music. It's a real gift to find a renewed passion for songwriting.
4. I got to spend another great year with my grandfather. Last Christmas, Pepa was in the hospital and I wasn't sure if he would ever come out. He did come home and has made so much remarkable progress this year. He went from being on hospice care with very little time left to being released from hospice with the doctor's scratching their heads about his miraculous "comeback." Our conversations have gone from planning the music at his funeral to now just chatting about the kids and sharing all of our fun stories with him. Thank you Jesus for your healing touch and continue to pour it out on Pepa and Mema this year.
3. #3 is for Ava because she turned 3 this year! I love Ava Grace. There is no way I could put just one memory of her on here. We make multiple memories every single day! Her brilliance and spunk keep me on my toes and keep me laughing every minute. She is such an amazing kid and I can't wait to see what all is in store for her in 2010.
2. I have found a new love for cooking! It is a fun, relaxing hobby for me. It has been somewhat of a creative outlet for me and I really love it. We have made it a priority for our family to eat dinner together at home more often and it is so great! I love that we can all come together and share a meal and just be together.
1. So the #1 greatest thing that has happened to me in 2009 was a no brainer! 2009 has been the greatest year of my marriage (so far, I believe the best is yet to come)!!! Alan and I will celebrate our 5 year anniversary in April, 2010. This past year we have grown so close and more in love with one another. We have (finally) learned how to better function in our roles as husband and wife and I am constantly striving to find ways to better serve him. I love him so much and I thank God every single day for bringing me a husband that protects me, provides for us, encourages me, never lets me settle, sees all of the potential I have yet to tap into, and the list could go on and on... I love you Alan. I can't wait to see what 2010 has in store for us!